I feel so odd during holidays
November 4th, 2005 by boon
Holidays are really weird. I feel like I’m in limbo whenever semi-long holidays are around. Somehow, it feels really terrible not to be ‘productive’. Maybe all those years of parents’ screaming into my head to study and do my homework has finally gotten to me. Have I forgotten how to enjoy my free time?
On the contrary, I enjoy the little bits and pieces of idle time any ‘normal’ day. Maybe it’s a by-product of my procrastinative habits. But when holidays come around, it seems procrastination seems to lose its meaning. I have to force myself to think that there really isn’t any real work I should be doing, and that I really shouldn’t feel so bad about watching a movie, or going out for a drink.
At some point, I’ll fear having to deal with the reality that holidays end, and that ‘normal’ days will commence once again. The few days of learning to settle down has caused me to stumble in my corporate biological clock, and I have to get used to going back to work again. It really is kind of frustrating.
I do better with month-long holidays. Unfortunately, they are hard to come by. I can better prepare for a break that will last longer, because I know one month is sufficient time for me to embrace new experiences worthy of a lifelong journey. A week is too short. I end up crying once the week is over.
Will all of this mad chase end once we move into our new apartment? I’d like to think so. I guess that’s what they call ‘settling down’.
At the end of all of this, though… I know there is a place that I can truly ‘settle down’, with God in heaven. That’s where my true home is, I believe (not that I’d kill myself to get there now). This place has far too many complications and hurting people for my liking. I know for a fact that as long as we’re on this planet, there will be endless cycles of tireless work and striving, save for the fact that our relationships save us. I thank God for people.
God, do something new in our lives today.