Letters from the Equator

I’m not always overly eager to state my neutrality in my relationships with people, but the fact that I try to remain that way is quite a common observation.

I’ve been told once by a blogger-friend that I shouldn’t be afraid to hurt other people’s feelings… and yes, I try not to… but sometimes it’s not really about other people’s feelings.

It’s about getting the story right.

So along comes Miss X, whose name I fail to mention for obvious reasons. The only juicy bit of information you’ll get is that she (female) lectures (lecturer) at MMU (the university), and there is a point to all of this.

Firstly, I have never been fond of stereotypes apart from their advantages in providing fairly contrasting references. Here’s a typical dumb blonde joke for sampling:

A woman explains to the doctor, “When I touch my arm, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my head, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my chest, ouch, it hurts.”
The doctor just shakes his head and asks, “You’re a natural blonde, aren’t you?”
The woman smiles and says, “Why, yes I am. How did you know?”
The doctor replies, “Because your finger is broken.”

I actually did laugh at this. And I’m guessing it’s because it’s quite overstated and takes something so anonymous and distant that it doesn’t affect me.

Miss X is neither anonymous nor distant nor overstated. She is the real thing. The only thing not blonde about her is her hair.

Her favourite words are “alriight” (in a pseudo yankee cowgirl) and “oh, yeah… yeah” (she never just says, ‘oh yeah’).

A typical carricature of Miss X is a smiling girl gazing at clouds above her head, with a brick flying toward her.

She is very resilient to sarcasm, hints, arguments, explanations, processes and plain english.

When reminded the millionth time that students were free to come to our office to discuss their projects, her words were “Oh, Cool!”

She explained that her student’s project that charges phones wirelessly on the go is a reasonable business proposition despite the fact you require an inducer the size of a building.

She ate all the chips, and spared none. And did it again.

On a particular night, we invited her out for drinks. She consumed alcohol that they bought for her and didn’t buy for her.

She asked if our company would pay for the students could go to UK with us. We said no.

She asked if our company would pay for her to go to UK with us. We said no.

Then she said if she was to come by herself, could she stay with my colleague. My boss almost sent her an email saying that she was going to room with my male colleague. He said no.

In another email, she politely declined her attendance to our mooncake party, which we never planned.

She asked my boss out for a date. He said he was married.

She goes cycling with tight pants and old expats.

She thinks that a student gathering at our office is a “party”.

The first business flame war email thread I experienced was between her and another lecturer colleague of hers. We were CCed the whole way.

She believes all students deserve a prize, even if their ideas are only good enough for Final Fantasy.

Our states went from elated to mild to reserved to denial to disbelief to resentment. We tried our best not to complete the spectrum.

My only means of salvaging my neutrality is that I still maintain professional interactions with Miss X. But I feel for her students. I hope she gets better.

Categorized as life