Rant blogging?
I’m one of the few surviving members of blogging people around my circle of friends, who are not ostentatiously vocal, extraverted, or plain stupid (least I hope not).
I blog because I love to write. And I write my thoughts, because I have too many. But then I stop, and start wondering why I blog in the first place, and then later I have no option but to blog. It’s a weird affair.
Those who are close to me know there are a lot of things about me that are going through some big changes. And it’s not a happy big promotion kind of change, but an OK now you’ve done it to yourself let’s see how you fare way. Which is quite the way I’ve gone about most of my life, really.
I often treadle between doing things people need me to do, and doing things I want to do. I don’t know if I ever take the middle ground, but I think I do - I just don’t realize it.
The problem with that is - I get burned out real easily. This is another fancy trait I exhibit. Hence the reason why some people notice my eczema going bad and then getting better later. I explain it as some cosmic cycle that I’m not in control of.
So, where I’m blogging from right now is from this weird place I seem to observe as “middle ground”, or “nowhere to go”. I should try to tip to one side, but I find no reason to. The other side doesn’t seem much different, either.
And that’s where sleep comes in, but I tend to overrate sleep. Sleep is overrated, I always say. You can always get more sleep later. But now, maybe I should - sleep. Sleep for the sake of sleep’s sake. I’ve never quite done that before. I either sleep because I’m dead tired, or sleep because I don’t want to face the day.
And I’m burned out, because I’ve expended all my energy into a lot of different things that just hasn’t worked out the way I would’ve wanted it. Not A Single One. And I’m tired. I just want to GIVE UP, and go into a HOLE.
Um, yeah.
Categorized as life