Write The Talk

My husband is into photography. Sometimes he will share with me (I’m no photographer and quite dumb with all things related to photography) a little about it.

I didn’t quite realise how it rubbed off until today.

We had a meeting on website design and we were talking about uploading a photo into the website, except that we don’t have a photo that we want.

Someone suggested taking photographs for that. Just whipping out his digital camera and snap countless photos and choose the 5 best ones.

The me before, would have said, yeah that’s a good idea. Instead, I caught myself before blurting ‘It’s not as easy as that! You need to make sure the lighting is right, does your camera capture colour well? What kind of camera do you have?’

Urggh, I’m sure you can photoshop it but then, I’ve learned you can’t photoshop everything and not all photos can be redeemed by photoshop (thanks again to my husband) although he has worked wonders with editing photos.

Ooo the designer just called and said photos taken by amateurs (with not as sophisticated cameras) are not good enough for photos that will be on the homepage of the website. =p

Yesterday was the last day of my fashion knitwear design course. There were 6 of us, 3 are working in the fashion industry for retail fashion firms, 1 finished her first year in fashion design and knitwear and the other lady and me were hobbyists.

It was good for people to be in the industry to be part of the class, as I had a peek into the fashion design industry from them, however, it meant the lecturer would gloss over jargons and fashion terms, and it was pretty much left to you to ask questions with answers most of the class would know because they are in the industry.

Overall, the course was quite practical and quickly gets you through the main ‘design’ activities (I think)- yarns, tension, gauges, mood board, colours, specification drawings. At the end of the class, we had to present our designs. I did mine for Spring/Summer Casual for the high street fashion (cheap cheap cheap). There were so many decisions to make! I had no idea. We should have design classes in schools so that children don’t grow up to be zombies.

And as celebration for the end of the course, I found this knitwear pattern book in Book Warehouse for £3.99, nearly 70% off it’s original price of £12.99. I couldn’t believe it. And one of the patterns in the book was featured in The Knitter magazine. Now I have a reference to help with my next project - designing and creating my own knitwear. I think the hardest part is translating the design into patterns, but of course, if you work in the industry, that’s someone else’s problem.

I use to wonder if I should go into the fashion industry, but after going through the course, I think I shall remain a hobbyist. I’m feeling part of the excitement about knitting now is because it’s not my WORK, and there’s no deadlines, no wrongs, no rights, no sales targets…From what I gather, fashion industry is about 2 things - money and sales. Oh wait, that’s like all other industries - why did I think it was otherwise for fashion?

I’m suppose to do a mood board. I’ve not done one before. It’s for my fashion knitwear design course.

I had a whole week to do it. But I’ve slacked. Designing involves much more work than I had thought.

What I had in mind was a design range for spring/summer 2010. I wanted it to be for casual but I don’t really know what the trend would be. I don’t have access to the popular and very expensive colour/trend forecasting books.

But really, what’s holding me back is partly due to the work involved- having to search for inspiration..but more so, being afraid of failure.

Part of me is afraid of choosing the wrong things, liking the wrong trends.

It’s really sad, this right wrong mindset of mine. After all, it’s a mood board. It’s not a right wrong thing. It’s suppose to inspire, encourage, kick start creativity. It’s suppose to help me in generating designs, yet I’m seeing it as a pass/fail thing.

I’m glad I took up knitting, and decided to take up this course. It’s strange, but it has uncovered a lot of my thought process..or rather, impressions or beliefs that aren’t very good.

Reading is such an easy hobby, so is reading manga, where the only frustration is when it ended with a cliff hanger and you don’t know when the next chapter will come out. There’s not much work involve, except searching for the manga through google.

With knitting, and what I’m learning about the design process, there’s so much effort. Sigh, I’m really lazy, aren’t I? And I’m uncertain because I’m a perfectionist. And because I want things to be perfect, I’m indecisive. I can’t decide on colour, I think about too many things, etc. I ask myself, should i be knitting this? What colour yarn should I buy? When shall I buy it? Do I have enough money for it?

Sometimes I wish I have been more serious with my hobbies, instead of being so lazy and reading all the time. Then I would have learned all these good habits, like making decisions, and making mistakes and learning from them. Oh, and that’s a bad thought trend that I have to get rid off - reminiscing with regret. Very bad.

I have to look forward, which I will, towards completing my mood board tomorrow! At least I know what I want to get out of it.

I told myself that when I start living in London, I’m going to take up knitting. After marrying, my life spun out of my control. I moved in to my husband’s room and stayed with my in-laws, changed to a job that was radically out of my comfort zone, took a pay cut and every day was a new challenge. I set aside my non-reading hobbies and other than work, family and church, there wasn’t time for anything else.

Then my husband and I moved out to live on our own, I changed jobs and got hooked on manga. I dabbled with drawing, painting and clay modeling for a while; influenced by my new job. Yet, deep down, I wasn’t very satisfied.

I wasn’t truly happy with how it is with my life. Money was always an issue. I had to struggle with time. There wasn’t enough time - for myself, for my husband, for my family, for my church and for reading manga! And I had this really wonderful home but don’t have the means to furnish it! And I had a job I like, but I didn’t know where I was going next.

When my husband decided to go further his studies, I know what I wanted to achieve when I was in London. Knit a sweater!

Yes, and that’s what I’m currently doing now, but it’s not a sweater, it’s a blouse. And I’m only 1/4 through. I picked the wrong blouse to start on, and had to unravel this difficult (to me) section several times.

Sometimes I wonder, how marvelous God is - to make humans be able to create. Knitting has only 2 types of stitches but it’s so amazing how many different patterns and designs can be produced with just 2 stitches. And it’s not as easy as it seems. The more I learn, the more I realize that there’s just so much I don’t know.

I feel there’s not enough time. There’s so much out there that I want to know, and there’s so many designs I want to knit and I want to design my own knits too! Sheesh, and I’ve only started knitting since Nov 08. That’s just 7 months and I’m already turning into this knit freak.

Because I found time pressing, I started bringing my knit projects everywhere I go. I knit on the bus and the tube. When we went on holiday, I was planning what projects I could bring so I could knit in the car and during the nights! I sincerely thank God that my mother’s car sickness didn’t come to me (too bad for my youngest brother though).

I started subscribing to 2 knitting magazines that feature projects that I really like and I’m currently going for evening classes on fashion knitwear design. Ahh..it’s so exciting. I tried going for knitting social groups but I suck at making new friends, so I stopped.

Oops..better get back to my knitting. I’m determined to finish the bottom section (not sure what this part is called) of the front of my blouse today.

2008 has been one crazy year. I’m really thankful to God for helping me through. You can call it luck, but for me, it’s God’s love.

Anyway, 2009 presents a new set of challenges. My church’s theme for 2009 is abundance in the midst of affliction. It’s going to be an exciting year.

Well, it has been an exciting 2 weeks. My office is closed from the 22 Dec - 4 Jan. I thought I may not have places to go to, so I got a’East London heritage trail’ book. I was expecting quiet and relaxing days at home..with an occasional day out.

As always, my holidays tend to be more eventful than expected. Let’s see..

20 Dec  Spent the most of the day at the Christmas markets by Tate Modern and London Eye. It was really nice with the Christmas lights. My husband got me this cute little piggy cardholder.

21 Dec Spent the day at my uncle’s house for an early Christmas dinner. Stuffed myself with Peking duck and pavlova.

22 Dec I think I went to register myself at the British Library to get a Reader’s pass.

23 Dec Recharged at home

24 Dec Had a pleasant Christmas eve lunch at my favourite (actually, it’s the only french restaurant I’ve been to) french restaurant at Upper Street. It’s cheap (£6.75 for mains) and it’s good. What more can you ask for?

25 Dec Merry Christmas and nothing is running. No bus, no tube, no train. So stay home.

26 Dec I had planned an early start but … I over zzzzZZZZ. It was really Really REALLY packed at Oxford Street. 80% asians, 10% european tourists 10% miscellaneous. 1 skirt, 2 blouses, 1 sweater, 1 dress. My husband’s statistic - 1 pair of shoes (it’s value is equivalent to all my purchases) and 2 shirts.

27 Dec You know, I had hoped for a stay home do nothing day but we were going to have bak kut teh for dinner and yah char kuay is a must.  So I spent my whole evening at China town. Ok, so I was a bit distracted along the way (with the shop displays), but I spent a lot of time searching for this Japanese thing, and they didn’t sell it in any of the shops.

28 Dec It was a really busy day. First, we went to church. Then we rushed to Oxford street to get a gift. Then we took a train down to my uncle’s house for dinner. And then we took the train back up.

29 Dec It’s my birthday. I’m 29 on 29 in 2008. Hmmm..If I was born a year later it would be 29 0n 29 in 2009. Oh well. I’m still 29 in 2009 for most of 2009. We spent it at Greenwich. As usual, we were up to a late start. I’m glad we took the ferry from Waterloo pier to Greenwich. It was really fun..and cold. We were outside most of the time, to have a better view of the buildings. There were a lot of people out as well.

30 Dec Bookworm day. I spent most of my afternoon reading in the British Library. Er..and the rest of the day reading manga online. =P

31 Dec To go or not to go. After much debate and researching, we decided to go. It’s the cold that puts me off. For my husband, it was the crowd. Anyway, we braved the weather and marched to the bus stop. We got to the river about 7pm. I thought we were late..there was a crowd there, but well..not as much as we thought. Where are the people?

We walked from bridge to bridge, wondering where should we stand to get the best view? But the cold got to us and we ended up in a pizza restaurant, slowly eating our time away (in warmth). When we went out again to the cold, my stomach was filled to the brim and so was the Waterloo bridge. We walked all the way to the Blackfriars bridge, walk along the river, as close as we can to the other end of the Waterloo bridge and watched the fireworks from there.

It was awesome. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen fireworks. Anyway, once is enough. Next year I’ll stay home and send New Year sms instead. For those who want to go next year, be there about 8pm, dress warmly, bring a hot water bottle, a tent and lots of food and coffee. And take the bus back. We got a bus pretty quickly and it was less packed. I guess standing by the side lets you get out faster. If you were in the middle of the bridge, it would have been a longer squeeze.

Time flies rather quickly. Tomorrow I’m going to get started on my knit a bag project.

Some days, I feel as though I have always been here and everything that has happened was a dream. I can’t remember how Char Kuay Teow taste like. But I know what Char KuayTeow doesn’t taste like!

The past months had been difficult, tiring, exciting, sad, happy, dissapointing, hopeful.

It’s as though now I can finally breathe and say confidently that God has answered my prayers. And now look ahead to new challenges - like knitting a sweater. Yes, that’s my next goal, one that is tough and may be filled with frustrations. To reach that goal, I have to learn how to purl, reduce and increase stithes, interpret knitting instructions and have lots of patience. I also have to practice to improve my stitches, which means I have to knit other things before finally being able to start on my sweater.

Sigh. I always like things to be fast and instant. Like 3 in 1. But knitting isn’t like that.

Anyway, I’m just happy that right now, I have a job and a home. Looking back, I had hope for this but I wouldn’t have envisioned it this way.

Well, my studio is kind of weird in the way it’s laid out (the main reason why I like it). It’s part of a building yet it’s not. It has no windows that can be opened out. Only a French door. To enter, you have to open a door, walk down steps, cross a small cemented mossy open space, walk down steps and open another door.

I just find that interesting.

I’ve always like cats more than dogs. Maybe ‘cos they match my kind of personality. I’m not outwardly affectionate and I don’t really crave contact with people a lot. With dogs, you need to give them lots of love and they need you to be always there for them.

Erm, okay. So I admit, I used to have a fear for dogs. When I was about 3? 4? , a neighbour’s dog jumped on me from the back and I’ve never felt comfortable with dogs  since then.

I like cats, ‘cos they live their own life and yet accomodate you.  Like this cat that belongs to my landlady. He doesn’t asked to be pet every moment, he doesn’t really like it , I think. He’s just happy sitting on my bed.

Usually he’s found by the mock fireplace downstairs. This is the second time he’s here. I think sometimes he just likes being around people. Well, since his owner is at school.

This song came to mind today..

http://www.lyricsbox.com/matt-redman-lyrics-blessed-be-your-name-pfs45jc.html

Blessed be Your Name by Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

I think we sang this in church before.

I don't have the music though.

I wish I know how to adjust the fonts via html.

The happiest moment so far..

Since I’ve arrived at London, it’s been surreal. When I walk in the streets, I’ve this feeling that I don’t belong here; even though there are many foreigners in London. I couldn’t shake off this feeling.

It’s not that I hate London. I love the weather. Apparently we brought the sunshine because there has been more sunny days than rain ever since we’ve arrived. I love the cold and lack of humidity. i love the architecture, the suburb that I’m living it. The family we’re staying with is fantastic. They’ve been very hospitable..

The only sucky part is my unemployment..but that’s another story.

I just want to settle down and feel like I belong here. It’s tough when you don’t have a place of your own and no job.

For a moment, when I saw the familiar blue building and yellow font- I felt, hey, I’m home and a burst of happiness shot through. The familiar smell, the layout, the furniture..and I was just wondering, how would the ice-cream taste like? Would they have different sale items?

hahah

I suppose I’m a victim of globalisation.

It’s crazy but being in IKEA actually made me happy.